Why do couples fight? In our case, and we have been married for nearly nine years, it is over stuff like not turning off the lights while warning everyone else about the high electricity bills (him), being lazy and not wanting to go out anywhere (me). But the main things we fight about other than ‘I don’t get enough sex’ and ‘you don’t talk enough’ are –
1. Expired Food Items: He likes to throw them out a week before they expire, while I use stuff for a year after they expire. No one has died after a meal at our place yet. He thinks I should change my ways before such an eventuality. I think why fix or replace something that ain’t broken or rancid.
2. Shedding: The second thing we fight about is shedding. Not me, he. He sheds hair, clothes, tennis bag, newspapers and files. He thinks it is human nature and inhumane to have a pristine home. I think it is criminal to have hair lying around.
3. Crumpled Sheets: Ever seen a man make a bed? There. That must say it all. On occassions he has gone so far as to make a bed. I wait until he is out of the room (don’t want to hurt his ego after all) before I make the bed again… properly.
4. Cricket: Don’t get me wrong. I love a good cricket match. But when my home country India is playing. I would never sit through a a replay of a test match played by Zimbabwe in the 1990s. Hubby darling would… with complete rapture. Not only does this mean that our conversation is limited to ‘what’s there to eat’, ‘look at that shot’ or ‘what is that idiot doing?’, it also means that I don’t get to watch NCIS LA and CSI Miami (I love crime series and the actors who play the cops) and my daughter is growing up to be a cricket fan. This I cannot forgive.
Our friends (who have been married for 17 odd years) assure us that in a few more years we will settle down and accept each other and then the fights will reduce. Now that is a scary thought. For all the arguments and jibes and the desire to toss something heavy at the bitter half, these fights are the moments that help us get to know each other and ourselves better. Also there is nothing like a good fight to clear the air and bring the zest back into a marriage. And like all the good things in our lives, like support for each other’s careers and dreams, respect for each other’s families, the shared bond of being a parent, these arguments and fights are also our constants. I can just imagine our daughter telling her boyfriend or husband or whatever about the silly tiffs mum and dad have had forever over expired goods.